Snow Patrol was in concert here tonight, and I had purchased two tickets several months ago. R was originally going to go with me, but he's been sick all week, so I let him off the hook and told him to stay home and rest -- I'd find someone to go with me. I emailed "Princess" (from South Africa) and fortunately she was game to go with me. Plus, she also loves the band, so she's always good company for these sorts of things.
As we were driving to the concert it occurred to me that I might actually run into my ex-boyfriend (J) at the concert. It's a pretty small venue, with general admission seating, and it's a band that he and I both had both discovered and enjoyed together.
Princess and I walked in, and within ten minutes, J's teenage son ran into me. It caught me somewhat offguard, but I was glad that I then knew that J was there, and that the likelihood of running into him was incredibly high.
As background:
Now, the last time I saw J was July 4th. And while he and I had not officially been dating since last December, we've had some semblance of a continued relationship -- what ever that means. July 4th was the moment in time where it became clear to me that it was time to cut bait and let it all go. Three days later I was lucky enough to have my mind and heart open to meet R. And so, I have not seen or spoken to J since that day.
J and I have traded some voicemails and emails, so he knows I've moved on and that I'm dating someone now, but we really haven't dealt with it head on. And the reality is...there's no need to. I'm completely happy with my relationship with R, and I don't feel compelled to share too much with J.
So after running into J's son, I knew it was inevitable I'd see J at some point during the evening. Princess and I decided the best ammunition was having a drink. Of course, the bar was where I spotted J -- standing across the room. In some ways, I'm glad R was sick and unable to make it. It could have been an incredibly awkward moment. And I was thrilled that it was Princess who was with me. J has met her on multiple occasions, she knows the situation and was able to maneuver the conversation masterfully.
J, Princess and I had a chance to make small talk, catch up and enjoy our drinks. J and his sons had already grabbed some seats up front by the stage, where as Princess and I had yet to set foot in the concert hall to select our seats.
The opening band Augustana was playing as we entered and I could see that a crowd had gathered in front of the stage. Princess and I decided it was best to leave J with his boys at that point and she and I headed to the back to find there was ample seating.
It was an incredible concert -- I was the Cheshire Cat with a grin ear to ear and I sang and danced along in the aisle. At the end of the show, Princess and I quickly slipped out without waiting around to say goodbye.
On the way home, Princess mentioned that when J first saw me in the bar, he was craning his head to see who I was with. She said she sensed some relief in him when I wasn't with another guy. And to some degree I'm glad he wasn't with another girl when I ran into him.
Being that this was first time I've seen J since our final curtain, I'm glad that these were the circumstances under which I ran into him. Got it out of the way, and it wasn't awkward. So the next time should be much easier -- especially since R will most likely be the person by my side.
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3 comments:
so glad you ran into j's son so you had the chance to regroup before being totally surprised. I understand how glad you also are that R wasn't with you. I think if I were in that situation, I'd have wanted to have some control over when R & J met. Sounds like you and P handled it great. :)
I saw J last night while N and I were eating pizza at Zeek's. He was crossing the street, so I didn't technically run into him. I thought of you and I thought of R and I'm just so glad you're so darn happy. There's nothing like having a new man under your belt (he-he) to make running into your ex a little easier.
It's funny, Loulou saw J a couple of weeks ago around town and called me to tell me about the sighting. In some ways it's good to know that my friends are my eyes and ears.
It's one thing to run into him or have my friends see him around town. But I do hope that the day he is seen with another woman, that I will have had enough time to accept the inevitability.
I really think it will be easier for him to run into me with R, only for the fact that it was J's decision to give up on our relationship so that I was put right back into the dating scene.
Love and heartache is so complicated sometimes.
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