in memoriam: Alma Bernice Bouldin Davis

My father's stepmother, Bernice, passed away several weeks ago at the age of 92. I never knew my dad's mother since she died before I was born. Bernice was the only grandmother I'd known. When we were little we lived in Texas, near Bernice and my Grandpa. He died when I was eight. But I have such fun memories of going to visit them on the ranch out in Harwood, climbing up on the "mosquito", a large fallen tree that my grandfather had painted with spots and we'd pose up on it for photos.

I remember when this photo was taken of Bernice. We were visiting her in Harwood. I think it was sometime around 1985. This is how I remember her. And I remember how much she loved the bluebonnets that just blanketed the ground on their property. I find it funny that in this picture she has one in her hand, as I distinctly remember her telling me as a child that picking bluebonnets are against the law in Texas. Maybe only if it's on public land.

After my Grandpa died, we'd still go out to Harwood to visit Bernice. She liked to sew and make things, and one Easter she sent dresses, another time, we all got our own afghan blankets, and another time some handmade pillows with our names cross stitched in them. And as we got older, it stopped. I think mostly because we didn't write thank you notes. But I was too young to know that was what I was supposed to do, and mom wasn't too clued into that kind of etiquette. We also moved overseas when I got older and the distance was an issue.

Even now, I can't remember the last time I ever saw Bernice. It was too long ago, that's for sure. As she got older, and I had an income, I kept telling myself that I'd go visit her, but it just never got planned. Too many business trips, too many vacations, and Crane (where she was in a nursing home) well, it's just way out in the middle of no man's land, Texas.

Bernice didn't really have much family. She married my grandfather late in life and never had her own children. She was so happy when Jon and I broke up.

I found an email she sent me last December. I loved how she always said exactly what she was thinking.

From: Bernice
Sent: Saturday, December 03, 2005 7:52 AM
Subject: Saturday morning

I thought I had saved your letter so I could reply, but now I can't find it. Everytime I turn e-mail on I get something different. #$%?&%%%% sbcglobal.net! Maybe some day.

Marrying an older man who has already raised a family with another woman could present a problem, especially when you decided you wanted your own family. As far as the children are concerned, they like you, but when you actually replace their mother it is different. What about religion? You indicated "absence makes the heart grow fonder". Marriage means "togetherness". Have you met his parents?

These are some of the minus things I can think of. On the plus side, Jon seems to be dedicated to his company which seems to be doing well.

Just got Kristen's graduation invitation. She's a happy girl right now. What is she planning to do now?

They tell me it is time for a bath and I sure don't want to miss that! More later. Bernice



From: Bernice
Sent: Friday, February 17, 2006 6:51 AM
Subject: Re: Happy Valentine's Day, Bernice

Thanks for thinking about me on valentine's day.

Glad you and Jon have broken up. That relationship was no good from the start.

Congratulations on your job. It sounds like a challenge, but nothing you can't handle.

Life in the nursing home is certainly different. We have lots of activity, but of course we have to take time for required things like therapy. I do take time for reading e-mail and always enjoy them. Write often.
Love you. Bernice


Only a few months earlier, she had taken a nasty fall and had been moved into the nursing home. She was not happy there, and I could see that she would deteriorate quickly.

The emails from her got to be less and less over time. As I sit here, it makes me sad to think she is gone. Even if the only relationship I had known in my adult life with her was through the exchange of emails.

She had passed away just a few days after Rick and I had returned from Minnesota. As we were making our way back, I was thinking in my head that I was going to email Bernice the update of our trip. I never got the chance....

I didn't cry when I found out. I just accepted it and went on with my day. I guess I haven't really let myself think about it until now. I am glad I got to tell her about Rick and how wonderful he is. I think part of it is that I wanted to her to be around to see me find someone who made me happy.

I didn't how hard it was going to be on me to re-read the old emails that we exchanged. I think in some ways Bernice was the motherly listening ear I never had with my mother, and so it hurts to know that I've now lost that.

And what makes me the saddest is to sit here and see her emails and know that I can't reply any more. I will never receive another email from her.

My dad sent over her obituary. I was stuck about how much I really didn't know about her, just by reading it. She was one strong, smart and incredibly independent lady.

Alma Bernice Bouldin Davis

Alma Bernice Bouldin Davis, age 92, of Crane, passed away on Monday, December 18, 2006 in Odessa. She was born to Berry Ben and Charlotte Taylor Bouldin on April 4, 1914 in Harwood. She graduated from Harwood High School and attended Southwest Texas State Teachers College in San Marcos, now known as Texas State University, but she was quick to tell everyone that her degrees were from SWT not Texas State.

She earned her BA and MED from SWT and entered the education field where she had a wide range of experiences. She began her teaching career in a one-room migrant school near Martindale, for students in grades one through eighth. Enrollment ranged from 10 to 50 students in one room at any given time, depending upon families following the planting and harvest seasons. She also taught adults in the CCC program at Ottine.

Later she taught business courses at San Marcos High School while taking courses toward her counseling degree. After receiving her counseling degree and certification, she served as a counselor in the San Marcos and Corpus Christi schools. She also taught summer graduate counseling and guidance courses for various colleges in Texas for teachers who were returning to school during the summer to earn their counselor certification, and she was active in the Texas Personnel and Guidance Association where she served as president.

She was a member of the Crescent Park Baptist Church in Odessa and a Democrat.

Following her retirement from teaching in 1978 she married Kenneth W. Davis. They returned to her family's home in Harwood where she lived until 1990, when she moved to Odessa to be near family in Crane. She lived in Odessa until she entered the Crane Nursing and Rehabilitation Center in 2005.

Mrs. Davis is survived by her step-children, Kathy Blair and husband Larry or Bristow, VA; Kent Davis and wife Geri of Spring; five first cousins, Ima Roycroft of Crane, Betty McDonald of San Antonio, Barbara Ann Matta of Bridgton, NJ, Dolores Kracht of Leesburg, FL and H.T. Diebel of Lynnwood, CA.

She was preceded in death by her parents, Ben and Charlotte Taylor Bouldin and her husband Kenneth W. Davis.

Memorial services for Mrs. Davis will be held at the Masonic Cemetery in Harwood during the last week of January.

Memorials may be made to the general scholarship fund at Texas State University in San Marcos or to the charity of your choice.