klutz

Uggh. I am such a bumbling fool. I came home from work tonight and as I was closing my driver's side door, I noticed a series of scratches in my precious blue door. I can't believe someone keyed my car??!! Having not noticed it before tonight, I thought back to when it might have happened. Would someone at work really do this?

I was focused. Walked in the door to greet Rick and started my "can-you-believe-it, you-have-to-see it" rant.

Nevermind the fact that I was late getting home from work so that we could dig out our bikes on such a gorgeous day and take a bike ride on the trail. That could wait.

I insisted that Rick go outside and see if for himself, and as I took my first step down the stairs in the garage, I had a moment. A moment of pure panic. I could feel myself catch, weight shifting awkwardly and then the stumble. Channeling my inner feline, I thought for a split second that I have saved myself from an embarrassing spill. And then it happened...the full-on splatter down the four steps and planted onto the hard cement floor.

Rick was behind me and quickly came to my aid, as I laid in a crumpled heap on the garage floor. I didn't want to see the damage. I was wearing a skirt today and I had felt my shins take the brunt of the fall. I didn't think I could bear to look and assess the damage. So I laid there.

I finally stood up with Rick's help and looked down passed my knees. Thank God my knees were spared. And then before my eyes, I watched the goose egg grow on my tibia plateau (vocabulary courtesy of my physical therapy boyfriend). I am pain adverse and absolutely do not have the stomach to sit there and investigate every bump and scratch.

Clearly, the afternoon of biking was off the table. I hobbled into the livingroom where I closed my eyes and planted myself on the couch. The dogs behind closed doors to keep them from jumping on me and licking me while I focus on my injuries.

Rick was such a trooper. Picking splinters and a piece of glass out of my palm. Pulling out the Neosporin to apply to my scrapes, and relieving the swelling on my shin with an ice pack. So here I sit on the couch, pillow under my knees, anticipating what I'm going to feel like once the adrenalin wears off. My knee caps are achy, I think from all of the stress on my legs. Rick keeps hounding me to strengthen my knees. I guess I better get on that soon.

And I had been so excited to start wearing my skirts again. Uggh. The only thing worse than my pasty white legs, are pasty white legs with cuts, scrapes, bruises and bumps. Well, it's in the 80's in Croatia right now. I better have my shins back into a presentable form for my shorts wearing wardrobe in a few weeks.

And so what about the scratches on the car? Rick did some sleuthing and figured out that it was from Zoe when she jumped up on the car door the other night. Well, at least it wasn't some meany trying to be a jerk. And for all that here I sit hostage while Rick cooks me dinner and watches the PGA Players' tournament.