outed

In my new job I work closely with someone who I figured out early on is Mormon. She's an older mom-type who likes to involve herself in things that really aren't in her scope, and so from a professional perspective I keep her at an arms distance anyway.

My first week on the job, I saw that her car had a BYU sticker on the back of it, and so that, in addition to her being quite vocal about her personal beliefs and trying to impose them in a work setting, it all was crystal clear -- I would never tell her that I was a BYU grad. Even when she had me talk to her daughter, who is currently at BYU-Idaho, about career advice.

Why don't I own up to it? Well, it's a little hard to explain to someone who isn't ingrained in the Mormon culture. Once a Mormon, always a Mormon. And for people who still go to church and actively live that lifestyle, there's an attitude against those who have consciously decided that's not for them. And for me, I made that decision 10 years ago and have never looked back.

And so, there was nothing to gain from sharing that we had that religious upbringing in common, and in fact, my fear would be that it would negatively impact my already trepidacious working relationship with her.

So yesterday I had a meeting with her, where with a snarky look on her face, she shares with me that we know someone in common. As soon as she told me who it was, I knew the cat was out of the bag, and that the next few statements would require artful responses from me.

"Suzie" and I knew each other from church years and years ago, and we both are in similar career fields. I think the last time I saw her was four or five years ago, and frankly, I just never kept up with her since she was never really a close friend and someone who was tightly integrated into a world I had no interest in being a part of. So when my colleague mentioned that she knew "Suzie" and went on to say to me, "Suzie says you went to BYU and that you know each other from church." Without breaking she continues recounting the conversation with Suzie saying, "I told her that I didn't know that you went to BYU and that you even went to church anymore." I responded only with, "Not any more" and then continued with the work meeting we were supposed to be having.

I so hope my colleague has enough restraint and common sense to never bring it up again, but I can only imagine the pity she'll continue to project for my "lost soul."